30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty Five

April 25, 2015
Day Twenty Five – A letter to someone who pisses you off on a regular basis

[Side note: The name of the person has been changed due to privacy. Those who know me well will know who the person I’m talking about really is.]

Dear Jane,

For years, I lived in fear of what you would do or say to me. I was nothing but another regular person, but you decided to mess with my head and belittle me every chance you got. I never understood what exactly I did to make you behave this way towards me, but I really didn’t like it.

You’re probably wondering why I’ve waited this long, but what you fail to understand, is that it has taken me this long to become at peace with my past – and allow myself to move on. Most of my past, I am (somewhat) comfortable with, but your abuse and torments are something I will probably never be at peace with. I did nothing to deserve your continued abuse, but you did it anyway, and that upsets me greatly.

The fact that there are still people like you around deeply unsettles me. I hope no one has to deal with what I did because you’ve made my life harder, even after all these years. Every time I hear abuse being shouted at me, I get flashbacks of what you (and others) would shout at me. Every time I hear of one of my friends or younger family members being picked on, I think of how defenceless I was, and fight their battle right alongside them. They don’t deserve to be hurt by people like you, just like I didn’t deserve to be hurt by you.

I tried so desperately to be the person everyone else wanted to be. I wanted social acceptance so badly and didn’t care what I did in pursuit of it. You had this power over me that I wasn’t able to understand, or fight against it. Years later, my life is much different and more satisfying – but you still come in with my flashbacks. They can set me in a downward spiral and keep me under for days at a time.

So, Jane, this was everything I’ve wanted to say to you for years. I’m lucky I’ve become stronger in my words – so I can let all of my pent up emotions out, and still be able to walk tall the next day, and start all over again.

You have no power over me anymore. You did your best, and you failed.

Sincerely,
Broken but stronger than ever.