Thoughts I Have

Hi everyone, Sorry for posting this later than I wanted to, but without further ado, here is my Year in Review. I’m not sure where to start, but what I do know for sure is that 2015 was the year where a LOT happened. A lot of laughs, tears, screams, and panic attacks – but of course, I rose above all of it and here I am, sitting here, clicking away at a keyboard in the hopes that I’ll be able to sum up an entire year in just one post. So, here goes nothing…

I recently watched a video on a Youtuber’s list of 100 things that make them happy, and even though the video was made many months ago, I thought I would give it a go, and encourage you to do the same. I am guilty of always thinking of the negatives in my life, especially if I’m in a less than ideal mood. While I’m constantly working on being happier, there are some days where I feel defeated by the world.

It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks, and finally I feel like I can process it all. It’s certainly made the time go a lot faster that’s for sure.

Long time no blog, and I can only apologise wholeheartedly! Life tends to get a bit crazy, and it’s only now that I feel like I can actually pause and reflect on everything that’s happened since I posted last. As I look to the date of my last post, I can’t help but chuckle a teeny bit, because this post will (hopefully) come to life exactly one month after my last.

This weekend just gone might have been the best I’ve had in a very, very long time! I can definitely say I needed it after all of the crap that’s been thrown in my path over the past few weeks. For those who follow my various social networks (Facebook, Snapchat, etc.), you’ll know what I’ll be talking about. For those who don’t, you’re about to get a tidal wave of awesome thrown at you! You won’t know what to do with yourself after this…

Today was the day that Hannah and I did our talk at Mount Maunganui College. It was the place that gave us so many good memories (and a few bad ones too), the place where our friendship blossomed, and the place that taught us so much about life. This morning came far too quickly for my liking (in my opinion), and my mind was reeling from the never-ending parade of thoughts about what exactly we wanted these students to know before we left.

It’s 1:25am, and some friends have gone home after a night of pizza, and Cards Against Humanity. I’m sitting in bed after saying good night to Hannah (my flatmate), and all of a sudden, my mind starts reeling. And I cannot seem to figure out why.

I could fill this entire blog post with statements of apology and excuses about why I’ve not posted on my blog in quite some time, I could tell you that I’ll try harder to be more frequent with my postings – but like the lives we live, nothing is ever guaranteed.

I’ve been staring at a blank document for what feels like forever.

Let me preface this by saying that if you are one of the many people I know who are not a fan of gay marriage being legalised in America, you can kindly stop reading this now, and remove yourself from my social media pages (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), as I have no tolerance for such ignorance.

Yes, as this title suggests, this month did indeed do a lot to me. I was tested time and time again; I was beaten down and hurt to the point where I just wanted to end it all. Go ghost if you want to give that feeling a name. There. I said it. In plain black and white, for everyone to see.

Hi blogosphere, I just want to thank you for sticking with me throughout this 30 Day Writing Challenge. It hasn't been easy, but I regret nothing. This is the last entry for it, and I will resume normal blogging as soon as I can. Thank you once again, Tessa April 30, 2015 Day Thirty – A letter of your choice Dear The Big Bang Theory,

April 29, 2015 Day Twenty Nine: A letter to your day. Dear Today, You were very horrible to me. First you throw my ex-boyfriend at me, and then you throw someone else at me. I didn’t need either of them today, and it just wasn’t a good time.

April 28, 2015 Day Twenty Eight - A letter to someone you barely know who has impacted you in some way Dear Nicole,

April 27, 2015 Day Twenty Seven - A letter to your idol, hero or someone you look up to. Dear Aletia,

April 26, 2015 Day Twenty Six - A letter to a stranger Dear stranger,

April 25, 2015 Day Twenty Five – A letter to someone who pisses you off on a regular basis [Side note: The name of the person has been changed due to privacy. Those who know me well will  know who the person I’m talking about really is.] Dear Jane,

April 24, 2015 Day Twenty Four - A letter of your choice Dear Glee (TV Show)

April 23, 2015 Day Twenty Three: A letter to your best quality Dear friendliness and loyalty,

April 23, 2015 Day Twenty Two - A letter to your worst habit Dear nervous/angry stutter,

April 22, 2015 Day Twenty One – A letter to someone who has bullied you or seriously hurt you Dear every single person who has hurt me so far,

April 20, 2015 Day Twenty - A letter to your children (or future children or children in general) [Side note: I’ll be writing this to my younger nieces and nephew, because I feel the need to tell them just how much I love them]

April 19, 2015 Day 19 - A letter to your boss (or someone who bosses you around) Dear former bosses at Kmart,

April 18, 2015 Day Eighteen - A letter of your choice Dear Music,

April 17, 2015 Day Seventeen – A letter to your friends as a whole Dear friends,

April 17, 2015 Day Sixteen - A letter to your family as a whole Dear family,

April 16, 2015 Day Fifteen - A letter to your community Dear Tertiary student community,

April 16, 2015 Day Fourteen - A letter to your favourite teacher/professor Dear favourite tutor,

April 15, 2015 Day Thirteen - A letter to your body Dear body,

April 14, 2015 Day Twelve - A letter of your choice Dear the English language,

April 11, 2015 Day Eleven - A letter to the head of your faith (God, Allah, The Pope, The Universe) Dear The Universe,

April 10, 2015 Day Ten - A letter to the leader of your country Dear John Key,

April 9, 2015 Day Nine - A letter to your parents Dear Mum and Dad,

April 8, 2015 Day Eight - A letter to a product/company Dear alcoholic beverages,

April 7. 2015 Day Seven - A letter to a celebrity you despise Dear Miley Cyrus,

April 6, 2015 Day Six - A letter of your choice Dear Hamilton’s unpredictable weather patterns,

April 5. 2015 Day Five - A letter to a celebrity you like Dear Tina Fey,

April 4, 2015 Day Four - A letter to the person who has influenced you the most Dear person who has influenced me the most,

April 3, 2015 Day three: A letter to your best friend Dear best friend,

April 2, 2015 Day two: A letter to yourself as a child Dear child Tessa,

Hi blogosphere! You may notice something by the title of this post... No, this is not an April Fool's joke! I will be updating more, as I am participating in a 30 day writing challenge, where I write open letters about various subjects for every day of this month. So, to start things off - here is my offering for today :) Also, some of the endings will have my name, whereas some won't (like tonight's for example) - so don't be too alarmed that I won't be sticking to my usual style. With love, Tessa

“ I don’t know how many stars fill the sky, I know we’re here but I don’t know why.” I’m not sure why I decided to start this post with some lyrics from a Lady Antebellum song… Maybe because I saw a sky filled with stars about an hour ago? I’m not sure if that’s a reasonable answer, but ah well, I’m sticking with it.

By the title of this blog post, you can kind of see where I’m heading here. In case you are oblivious (or indifferent, or both perhaps?), allow me to explain further.