April 2, 2015
Day two: A letter to yourself as a child
Day two: A letter to yourself as a child
Dear child Tessa,
When you drop the “Quin” from your full name, be prepared
for people to look at you differently. No longer will they see innocence and
fear in your eyes, they will instead see someone who actually gives zero fucks
about what anyone has to say, and you’ll feel
tonnes better after making that
realisation.
[By the way, that doesn’t happen for a very long time. You’ll
be about 17 before you realise that no one’s opinions about you matter. Feel
free to thank present Tessa later :)]
You were mocked and excluded for every single possible
reason. You looked different to everyone else, you spoke differently, and you
were (and still are) misunderstood. People cruelly cast you aside like a broken
toy, for no actual reason, other than the fact that you were different to them,
and they didn’t know how to deal with that.
I promise things will get better, and you’ll meet some of
the most amazing people, and have some incredible experiences, with your family
and friends watching alongside and cheering you on.
Your parents still love you, even though Dad isn’t in the
house anymore. He’ll visit, but you’ll still feel empty afterwards. Mum will
ask how hanging out with him was, and you’ll lie to her and say it was okay.
All the while, you’ll still feel empty, and that feeling will linger above your
head for days on end.
Your siblings will spoil the crap out of you, and they’ll
always check on you to make sure you’re okay, and that the kids at school aren’t
being too mean to you. You’ll lie to them as well, and tell them that the kids
are nice to you, even though they can see right through you, and they know that
nothing about what you’re telling them is true.
You’ll move to three different schools because kids will be
horrible to you. You’ll watch mum scream at the principal, and you’ll hide behind
her as she takes you to another school. Kids
still pick on you at that school, so your older sister will take you away to
live with her. The kids there are meaner and have nothing to lose; they’ll hurt
you physically and emotionally, and break your possessions. No one will believe
you, and you’ll drown in silence.
I know it all seems doom and gloom now, but you’ll come out
the other side feeling stronger and more determined than ever before. Hold on
my dear, everything will be over soon.
Sincerely,
Present Tessa
Present Tessa
